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Dating GuideIs it Lust or Love -- How to Tell the Difference
by:
Deborah Willis
Far too many an people, some
men and women alike, confuse lust for love. Physical attraction alone wish not withstand the test of time in relationships. Physical attraction is an important factor but must ne'er
be the only factor you believe upon once
choosing a mate. Many an do the mistake of confusing lust and love and end up broken-hearted once
the relationship doesn't last.
Perhaps you're wildly attracted to causal agency and thoughts of that person dominate your mind a good portion of the day and night. Mayhap you can't wait until the next time the two of you wish be together again. Once
you are together you can't support your hands off one another and once
you're apart, you fantasize just about the next time you can see one another. True love and lust are easily confused because they are so more alike.
As a rule of thumb, if you share few else interests and have nothing in common else than an overwhelming physical desire for one another...it may be lust. If you have nothing of real value to say to one another and have difficulty relating to one another outside the sexual arena...it may be lust. If you don't particularly enjoy one another's institution unless you're having sex...it may be lust.
On the else hand, if your relationship is based on factors else than physical attraction and sex is not necessarily the number one priority...it may be love. Most long-term relationships are built on a strong friendly relationship which turns into love over time. Having sex is not the drive force behind the relationship, but is a good sideline to it.
There actually is such a thing as "love at 1st sight". It happens to many an folk and the relationship may last for the rest of their lives. A budding relationship based on lust feels more the same as one which is truly "love at 1st sight". So how do you tell the difference?
Ask yourself the following questions. See each question cautiously and actually think just about it before answering. Once
answering, try to be as truthful as possible. If you can honestly and sincerely answer "yes" to all or nearly all of the questions, it may be safe to assume what you feel for the else person is actually love and not just lust.
Keep in mind, these questions are quite general and are in no way a total and complete checklist.
1. Do you share similar ethics, values, and morals?
2. Do you find it easy to talk to one another and can you talk freely just about just about anything?
3. Do you enjoy the time you spend with one another, regardless of the activity?
4. Do you enjoy even as the most mundane activities once
you are together, just because you ARE together?
5. Do you have a genuine concern for the happiness, safety, and well-being of the else person?
6. Are you able to activity out any differences you may have with this person to the satisfaction of some
of you?
7. Once
disagreements arise, are you able to discuss them openly and honestly without losing your temper?
8. Do you find yourself yearning for this person's presence in your life in terms else than a sexual relationship? In else words, do you feel a need just to be with that person and spend time with them even as without having sex?
9. Can you laugh together and at one another, share jokes, and generally have fun together?
10. Makes defrayment time with this person do you feel good just about yourself?
11. Makes this person give you a heightened sense of self-confidence and vitality?
12. Can you look at this person even as once
they are at their worst in their physical appearance (such as once
they are sick) and not feel repulsed?
13. Do you share a strong mutual respect for one another?
14. Are you willing and able to share some
good times and bad with this person and activity through life's ups and downs together as a team?
There is a really fine line between lust and love because the two of them are closely related. Being able to tell the difference can save you from wasting your time following
an unhealthy relationship which is doomed to ultimate
failure.
If your long-term goal is to seek out a partner with whom you can build a solid, period commitment, knowing the difference between lust and love is an essential and vital skill you'll want to master. Learning to accept a relationship for what it actually is can mean the difference between a broken heart and a happy, fulfilling, period of elation with your partner.
Copyright 2005 Deborah Willis All Rights Reserved
Just just about the author:
Deborah Willis is the author of ATTRACT WOMEN -- The Average Man's Manual to Attracting, Dating, Loving, and Maintaining Relationships with Women. For more down-to-earth qualitative analysis
proposal
visit ATTRACT WOMEN
This article may be freely reprinted as long as the article resource is left intact and there is a live link to the author's web site.
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