How to Write Bad Poetry

So you’ve distinct to crown yourself with a title that a million another folk (just like you (yes, simply like you!)) give themselves every day. Several folk believe giving yourself such a title is equivalent to, and simply as beneficial monetarily, as naming yourself Queen of England. But, there is no grace, seldom enough publicity, and only the title of Court Fool seems to be becoming for you because you are a fool among others.

What is this sacred title? Poet.

Why makes titling yourself a “poet” do you a Fool? Well, it doesn’t, not in and of itself. But if you’ve only been promulgated online, ne'er in print—that could be a sign of your well-earned Fool status. To be blunt—that is a sign that you write bad poetry.

Why would-be these sites accept your activity if it sucked, you ask? Possibly to raise their quota, possibly to get more submissions of the site’s particular interest, but chiefly to really HAVE thing to post—most (but not all) sites are desperate for submissions. Or possibly they’re out for a profit. Move on, who among us HASN’T had thing accepted by the National Library of Poetry, and then gotten all the brochures for big-ticket products featuring our work?

The Webmaster vs. Editor Problem: Go to any website, check it out. Can you find person with the title of Webmaster? How simply about editor? Or, still yet, Webmaster AND Editor? A Webmaster makes not, by any means, mean Editor. Just because person is a webmaster (someone who controls the site, updates the postings, etc. . . ) makes not mean that the person is an EDITOR (someone who corrects the work, proofreads, re-writes, re-words, etc…) of the activity announce on the site. In galore cases, webmasters who are disguising themselves as editors are giving real editors a bad name. A webmaster, will too often post submissions “as is” and not give a damn simply about the content or presentation. However, if a site has person who can some edit and be a webmaster then the site is moving in the right direction.

This is the main problem source. Building a website, and acquiring activity “published” on a website is so easily done by anyone whether they have talent or not that it de-values the word “published” and lessens the role of an Editor.

Granted, the computer network IS a great marketing tool for promoting your work, acquiring your name in the public’s eye, and acquiring writing experience, but have you ever asked yourself why your activity is ONLY promulgated online? Possibly it is because no discerning EDITOR has ever seen your dribbly poems, except in browsing the web for bad poems to laugh at.

Here are a few tips that will help you to get your activity promulgated online. Hey, I patterned if you’re going to be a fool simply about acquiring your unpolished activity promulgated on the computer network for the earth to see, I’d give a few tips to help your bad poetry stay that way, since you seem to like that way best:

Place the word “Love” in your title. That’s a major plus!

Be straight-forward, don’t use symbols, metaphors or thing that will do the reader think. Readers don’t have time to think.

Focus on form—(sonnets, villanelles, haiku). Since you think in form, write in form.

Keep your verse form in a rhyme-scheme. Why? Well, EVERYONE knows that all Nice poems rhyme, the rest can be forgotten as a post-modern mess!

Only write in YOUR point of view. Write exactly what you believe, ne'er try to portray the pictures of person else. Better yet, start the verse form with “I”.

Keep your poems untitled. Readers love to be creative and imagine what the title should and could be.

Write in the same place. If you write in your bedroom—always write there; if you write outside under a tree—always write there---why try variety and ruin a nice thing?

Don’t ever base a character in a verse form on person you really KNOW. Heaven forbid you get the piece published, and have to explain to the person—“this is you”.

Read, but if you don’t like a verse form or a poet—just toss it. Don’t even as question why you don’t appreciate the work.

Have no structure. Poetry is simply about limitless expressions, right? So in that sense, do your lines and stanzas as long as you wish. Just write exactly how you feel!

Don’t support a journal. Journal causes too more self-reflection and you want to write for the moment, not yesterday.

Use clichés as more as possible. Folk like to see familiar phrases.

Not every line of a verse form is important. Just do sure you have a nice 1st and last line.

14.Poems don’t progress, that’s the difference between a story and a poem. Poems aren’t suppose to take you on a journey to learn.

Submit your poems to only websites. That way, you will ne'er have to face the fact that your poetry SUCKS, because it will only be see by the friends and relatives to whom you give the site’s URL, and your friends will ne'er tell you that reading your poetry is greater torture than lease a small, sharp-clawed guinea pig walk on their sunburnt skin.

If you follow these guidelines, and start writing, you will be a “poet” in no time. Remember that poetry HAS to rhyme, and remember that the less you practice the better you are.

Joking aside—you mightiness want to try doing exactly opposite of the “tips” in the list. And, since galore webmasters (who are titling themselves Editor) aren’t doing their job, it’s up to you to discover to edit your activity before you embarrass yourself.

(This article is not commenting that ALL online poetry is not well-crafted. But the poorly crafted poetry far outweighs the well-written by a landslide.)

About The Author

Stephen Jordan, a Medical Editor in Greenwich, Connecticut, presently lives in New Dynasty City, has five years experience inside the educational publication industry. Author was a freelance editor with such educational foundations as Princeton Review, The College Board, New Dynasty University, and Columbia University. Away from the office, Author promotes his creative writing, painting, and his home-based freelance business OutStretch Publications. Author holds two Bachelor of Arts degrees in writing and literature from Alderson-Broaddus College of Philippi, West Virginia.
Editor@OutStretch.net

This article was announce on Gregorian calendar month 05, 2004