How to Write Bad Poetry

So you’ve definite to crown yourself with a title that a million different folk (just like you (yes, simply like you!)) give themselves every day. Several folk believe giving yourself such a title is equivalent to, and simply as beneficial monetarily, as naming yourself Queen of England. But, there is no grace, seldom enough publicity, and only the title of Court Buffoon seems to be becoming for you because you are a fool among others.

What is this sacred title? Poet.

Why makes titling yourself a “poet” do you a Fool? Well, it doesn’t, not in and of itself. But if you’ve only been publicised online, ne'er in print—that could be a sign of your well-earned Fool status. To be blunt—that is a sign that you write bad poetry.

Why would-be these sites accept your activity if it sucked, you ask? Mayhap to raise their quota, mayhap to get more submissions of the site’s particular interest, but in the main to really HAVE thing to post—most (but not all) sites are desperate for submissions. Or mayhap they’re out for a profit. Move on, who among us HASN’T had thing accepted by the National Library of Poetry, and then gotten all the brochures for costly products featuring our work?

The Webmaster vs. Editor Problem: Go to any website, check it out. Can you find being with the title of Webmaster? How simply about editor? Or, still yet, Webmaster AND Editor? A Webmaster makes not, by any means, mean Editor. Just because being is a webmaster (someone who controls the site, updates the postings, etc. . . ) makes not mean that the person is an EDITOR (someone who corrects the work, proofreads, re-writes, re-words, etc…) of the activity denote on the site. In many a cases, webmasters who are disguising themselves as editors are giving real editors a bad name. A webmaster, will too often post submissions “as is” and not give a damn simply about the content or presentation. However, if a site has being who can some edit and be a webmaster then the site is moving in the right direction.

This is the main problem source. Building a website, and deed activity “published” on a website is so easily done by anyone whether they have talent or not that it de-values the word “published” and lessens the role of an Editor.

Granted, the cyberspace IS a great marketing tool for promoting your work, deed your name in the public’s eye, and deed writing experience, but have you ever asked yourself why your activity is ONLY publicised online? Maybe it is because no discerning EDITOR has ever seen your dribbly poems, except in browsing the web for bad poems to laugh at.

Here are a few tips that will help you to get your activity publicised online. Hey, I patterned if you’re going to be a fool simply about deed your unpolished activity publicised on the cyberspace for the earth to see, I’d give a few tips to help your bad poetry stay that way, since you seem to like that way best:

Place the word “Love” in your title. That’s a major plus!

Be straight-forward, don’t use symbols, metaphors or thing that will do the reader think. Readers don’t have time to think.

Focus on form—(sonnets, villanelles, haiku). Since you think in form, write in form.

Keep your literary composition in a rhyme-scheme. Why? Well, EVERYONE knows that all Nice poems rhyme, the rest can be unnoticed as a post-modern mess!

Only write in YOUR point of view. Write exactly what you believe, ne'er try to portray the pictures of being else. Better yet, start the literary composition with “I”.

Keep your poems untitled. Readers love to be creative and imagine what the title should and could be.

Write in the same place. If you write in your bedroom—always write there; if you write outside under a tree—always write there---why try variety and ruin a nice thing?

Don’t ever base a character in a literary composition on being you really KNOW. Heaven forbid you get the piece published, and have to explain to the person—“this is you”.

Read, but if you don’t like a literary composition or a poet—just toss it. Don’t even as question why you don’t appreciate the work.

Have no structure. Poetry is simply about limitless expressions, right? So in that sense, do your lines and stanzas as long as you wish. Just write exactly how you feel!

Don’t support a journal. Journal causes too more self-reflection and you want to write for the moment, not yesterday.

Use clichés as more as possible. Folk like to see familiar phrases.

Not every line of a literary composition is important. Just do sure you have a nice 1st and last line.

14.Poems don’t progress, that’s the difference between a story and a poem. Poems aren’t suppose to take you on a journey to learn.

Submit your poems to only websites. That way, you will ne'er have to face the fact that your poetry SUCKS, because it will only be see by the friends and relatives to whom you give the site’s URL, and your friends will ne'er tell you that reading your poetry is greater torture than belongings a small, sharp-clawed guinea pig walk on their unhealthy skin.

If you follow these guidelines, and start writing, you will be a “poet” in no time. Remember that poetry HAS to rhyme, and remember that the less you practice the better you are.

Joking aside—you power want to try doing exactly opposite of the “tips” in the list. And, since many a webmasters (who are titling themselves Editor) aren’t doing their job, it’s up to you to discover to edit your activity before you embarrass yourself.

(This article is not commenting that ALL online poetry is not well-crafted. But the poorly crafted poetry far outweighs the well-written by a landslide.)

About The Author

Stephen Jordan, a Medical Editor in Greenwich, Connecticut, presently lives in New House of york City, has five years experience inside the educational business industry. Sir leslie stephen was a freelance editor with such educational foundations as Princeton Review, The College Board, New House of york University, and Columbia University. Away from the office, Sir leslie stephen promotes his creative writing, painting, and his home-based freelance business OutStretch Publications. Sir leslie stephen holds two Bachelor of Arts degrees in writing and literature from Alderson-Broaddus College of Philippi, West Virginia.
Editor@OutStretch.net

This article was denote on Jan 05, 2004