Breast Cancer- There Is A Way Through Your Fears

This is the story of my breast cancer journey, and how gluing magazine images onto mat board led me back to my spirit.

In Dec of 2001, breast cancer was the furthest thing from my mind. I was busy. I had a admiring husband, a good home, three beautiful stepchildren, a good job. Then my perfect little earth was suddenly turned inside out and top down.

A routine, suspicious mammogram. A phone call. Roentgenogram #2. A stereotactic core biopsy.

My diagnosis: breast cancer, stage 2, infiltrating, ductal, HER2.

All of the above happened inside the fearful, anxious, unbelievable time span of 7 days. And my life has ne'er been the same.

The next nine months control a most strange quality of disbelief and exhaustion. It besides control two surgeries, four therapy treatments spaced three weeks apart, and 47 radiation treatments (spaced daily, over the course of 9 weeks).

It's been three years since my life was turned top down and inside out…. Three years. My prognosis is really good. I hear this every three months depending on which doctor my appointment is with: breast surgeon, medical oncologist, or radiation oncologist.

Three years have passed. I look good. I feel good. And yet nothing has been able to quiet the storms of fear that threaten to overwhelm me from time to time. The insidious fear that the breast cancer mightiness return. The daunting fear of another possibly deadly diagnosis.

I have meditated and prayed just about this. I have talked just about it with my fantastic healer and with another breast cancer survivors. I have tried radio-controlled imagery, journaling, and art journaling. These have all tempered the fear to several extent, but only for a really short while.

Then I began practicing SoulCollage™ and my inner dynamics began to change.

SoulCollage™ is a unique blend of spiritual practice and the fun of collage. Exploitation our intuition and imagination, we create a deck of collaged cards wherever each card reflects a several aspect of who we are. The cards are then used to assist us to access our own deep wisdom and help us answer life's questions.

There are four suits in a SoulCollage™ deck: The Committee (the inner voices in our minds), The Community (the family and friends who love us), The Companions (animal totems who lend us their energies) and The Council (archetypes who symbolize major life themes for us).

SoulCollage™ cards are ready-made exploitation magazine images, scissors, a glue stick, and 5" x 8" pieces of mat board.

It turned out to be the better way for me to deal with the lingering fears that I was left with after my cancer treatments were over. I listened cautiously inside of me to the voices that had thing to say just about my breasts, and my breast cancer, and I ready-made three cards over the course of a few months.

The "voices" I named and then worked with in the coming months were: I am the one who fears breast cancer returning, I am the one who survived breast cancer and walked away from it (both of these voices were Committee members), and I am the one who gave you the courageousness to survive breast cancer (an original from my Council).

After devising the cards, I journaled with them, asking each voice the following questions: Who are you? What do you have to give me? What do you want from me? How wish I remember?

The entire process of devising these SoulCollage™ cards and then dialoguing with them led me deeper into my feelings just about my diagnosing and all that I had been through on my journey since then. This led me to a really deep and powerful spiritual healing that is difficult to describe, yet really real in my life.

Now, once my fears of another cancer diagnosing threaten to consume me, I just look at my SoulCollage™ card that honors that voice inside of me and I acknowledge it. This voice, this fear wish always be a part of me, but I do not have to allow it to control me. I am reminded of this because I besides have the another two cards which speak to me of how I found the inner strength and courageousness to take the breast cancer journey.
Just just about the Author

Anne Marie Aeronaut is a freelance writer and artist. She is a breast cancer survivor who loves sharing the gift of SoulCollage™ with others. She lives in Massachusetts with her husband Jeff and two extremely cherished (and spoiled) feline companions named Sasha and Scooter. To see my breast cancer SoulCollage™ cards and see much just about them, please visit: my SoulCollage breast cancer page.