“Christmas For One: Mental Health Over the Holidays"

My dear friend, writer Dessa Byrd Reed, often spends holidays alone as a widow. However, she doesn’t see this, as many an folk often do, as a depressing circumstance. In a Gregorian calendar month 2000 POETIC VOICES interview, she said, “Because I am single and live alone, I eat out a lot. I love to talk to strangers. That's one of my favorite things. I go out for breakfast and talk to people.”

Another gifted writer, Leslie Lafayette, dealt with being a unfruitful woman by select in WHY DON’T YOU HAVE KIDS?: Living a Full Life Without Parenthood. You can bet that because of her select many an folk would-be pity her. She writes the “Alone Again, Naturally” column for the outstanding magazine THE DESERT WOMAN. Observers strength conclude she’s miserable on the holidays.

Both Leslie and Dessa have full lives and radiate Christmas cheer, not simply in Dec but all year round. Spell we all need human contact, it’s a mistake to conclude that folk without the traditional family dinner are all on suicide watch. Anyone who has negotiated wherever to have Christmas and which family members can move when, not to mention refereed in-law and domestic partner disputes, knows that the allure of having a table for one at Christmas is powerful.

However, once folk aren’t alone by choice, Christmas can be lonely. In Michigan, I interviewed a woman, the founder of a unmarried and unmarried keep group, who chose to have Christmas dinner every year for lonely widows, widowers and unmarried people, ordinarily from her keep group. Her children understood that she required to start this new tradition in her new life.

Similarly, having children around, even as with the relentless gimmes and commercialism, lends a special magic to Christmas, which is why playing Santa appeals to so many.

The holidays can be joyous if you’re alone, or they can be difficult. As with so much, your feelings depend on your personality, your circumstances, your childhood, and in many an cases on medical or psychological conditions.

Some tips to remember if you’re alone or without your keep system:

Take advantage of counseling services in your community, including from your local church, synagogue, temple or else place of worship.

Take time out for spirituality. You strength attend services simply to experience human contact and community. Folk are generally nicer at Christmas.

Do all the things you wanted to do but couldn’t in your former life. Travel. Even as in this post-9/11 world, you can visit faraway places. There are many an tour groups for singles.

Attend art walks, holiday concerts, lectures, and motion picture screenings alone. Or invite a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.

Volunteer—it’s a howling way to do friends, stay active, and feel fulfilled.

Go out to dinner alone! Spell women in particular feel uncomfortable, project an air of confidence. You are a strong, vital woman. This doesn’t mean that you should go bar-hopping or take risks alone at night. But you have the right to ask for a table for one without feeling as although folk are decision making you. (Most folk are too preoccupied with their own lives to notice.)

Gather a circle of friends or folk in the same situation—just do sure the evening doesn’t turn into a pity party.

Don’t overdrink, eat or do drugs. It’s simply not a nice tradition.

Bake cookies if you’re so inclined. Cookies do howling Christmas presents and route to reconnect with your friends.

You may be tempted to think of yourself as Ebenezer Scrooge. Don’t, and boil anyone in his own pudding who calls you “Scrooge.” You are honoring Christmas in your own heart and keeping it always. Christmas for one, anyone?

Copyright Kristin Johnson.

Kristin Johnson is co-author of the “highly recommended” Geographical area Book Review pick, Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Production Heartwarming Gifts (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9). A downloadablemedia kit is accessible at our Web site, www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com, or e-mail the publisher (info@tyrpublishing.com) to obtain a written media kit and sample copy of the book. Much articles accessible at http://www.bakingchristmascookies.com.

kristin@poemsforyou.com