A cheater’s guide for helping your spouse heal from your affair
We have determined that there at least 24 key points that need to be addressed in order for the cheater to become a healer:
- Be sensitive when your partner suffers from a trigger
- Stop all contact with the other person – forever
- Stop being so selfish
- Stop trying to always be in control
- Take responsibility for your actions – and inactions
- Have some patience
- Talk about things
- Be trustworthy
- Be honest
- Acknowledge the depth of the pain that your affair brought to your marriage
- Show remorse and apologize
- Educate yourself about affairs and relationships
- Be thoughtful and reassuring
- Figure out for yourself why you did what you did
- Stop being so defensive
- Stop thinking that the grass is always greener somewhere else
- Be loving and supportive
- Listen – really listen
- Make your life and everything you do an open book
- Stop blaming your spouse for your affair
- Check your anger at the door
- Ask your spouse what he/she needs from you on a regular basis
- Get some counseling or therapy
- Gratitude or gratefulness
Chances are (if you are the betrayed) you need the exact same things from your spouse.
